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Relationship Minute: Identify your wounds

Your relationship vulnerabilities have a tendency to be a reflection of prior experiences that are hardwired into your brain.  These wounds can be healed and your brain rewired (great news) but the first step is to be clear about what your issues are, when in an intimate relationship with another person.  Ideally, they have an idea of what they carry too.

In order to have the ideal relationship, you need to be clear where you’ve hurt and what your triggers are.

A loving and sensitive relationship makes space for working together to heal each other’s wounds or at the very least be

compassionate towards each other (and give each other more of a break if they come up in unhelpful ways in the dynamic).

Ways emotional wounds show up in relationships:

  • Tendency to attract and be attracted to partners who are emotionally unavailable.
  • Fear of getting too close in relationships.
  • Tendency to be easily disappointed by your partner or have expectations that are too high.
  • Fear of abandonment or unrealistic ideas of how much time should be spent together (not comfortable with he/she having a life independent of you with hobbies, friends, etc).

If you are in a relationship where one of the above comes up or struggle to find/maintain healthy relationships, I might be of help to help you understand any problematic behaviors or habits you bring to the table, and change them!

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