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Currently Browsing: Relationship Minute

Relationship Minute: How is the balance in your relationship?

There are many ways people do relationships.  At the end of the day, I subscribe to the notion “whatever works.”  But I find that a distress point for many couples in my practice is relationship balance.  Relationship balance is the “you, me and we” parts of the relationship.  Imagine two overlapping circles with the overlapping parts representing the “we” and the side parts...

Relationship Minute: What are you doing with your choice points?

Considering your relationship, think about the countless choice points there are in a single day.  We all have those moments where we can choose to act in one way or another, choose to say one thing vs another… What are you doing with your choice points?  Do they support or degrade your relationship?  Or perhaps they are neutral.  The important thing to keep in mind that those moments take you down one of...

Relationship Minute: You are not your partner.

Because we all look at the world through our own pair of unique eyes, it’s not uncommon to have totally different experiences and perceptions of life.  This is a result of many things but particularly the totality of our prior experiences.  We learn and assign meaning to things as we go.  The meaning might serve us well and sometimes it might not. In your relationship, it’s important to remember that...

Relationship Minute: Trust is the single most important element in your relationship.

Consider how much the presence of absence of trust can impact your relationship?  It’s a critical element of what I often refer to as “emotional safety,” that which ideally allows for a safe haven in each other.  John Gottman, PhD recently completed another in a long line of books about the research behind what makes or breaks couples.  It’s called, What Makes Love Last?  How to Build...

Relationship Minute: Don’t forget to “spring clean” your relationship.

Marriages and relationships can sometimes drift off to sleep.  This can happen when things start to get taken for granted, partners stop prioritizing each other and showing appreciation.   I think the concept of spring cleaning can apply here too as just like your closets, windows or children’s toy boxes need periodic attention, your relationship garden needs care too. Here are a few things you can...

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