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Currently Browsing: Relationship Minute

Relationship Minute: Seek happiness from within or from your marriage or relationship?

If you are frustrated because your marriage or relationship isn’t “making” you happy you might want to re-think that.  There is a vast difference between being happy with your relationship rather than seeking happiness from your relationship.  What is important is a sense of safety and trust.  This is a condition that’s important for you and your partner to feel. The question isn’t,...

Relationship Minute: Avoid These Four Negative Communication Patterns

It can be easier said than done to eliminate these damaging habits in your relationship.  Many of us have learned problematic communication patterns in our families of origin or struggle with issues around trust in relationships that leading to knee-jerk, unhelpful responses.  If you make attempts to follow Dr. Gottman’s suggestions but still find yourself in a negative cycle, I can help you dig deeper into...

Relationship Minute: Your mistakes don’t need to mean the end of your relationship.

If you’ve messed up, the relationship is worth saving and your partner is open to allowing for positive change, you’re off to a good start.  But you have some work to do. To begin with, you and your partner should hone your communication skills to allow for the kind of dialogue that will be necessary to facilitate repair and change.  Your job is to fully own your part in what’s happened.  Your...

Relationship Minute: How is the balance in your relationship?

There are many ways people do relationships.  At the end of the day, I subscribe to the notion “whatever works.”  But I find that a distress point for many couples in my practice is relationship balance.  Relationship balance is the “you, me and we” parts of the relationship.  Imagine two overlapping circles with the overlapping parts representing the “we” and the side parts...

Relationship Minute: What are you doing with your choice points?

Considering your relationship, think about the countless choice points there are in a single day.  We all have those moments where we can choose to act in one way or another, choose to say one thing vs another… What are you doing with your choice points?  Do they support or degrade your relationship?  Or perhaps they are neutral.  The important thing to keep in mind that those moments take you down one of...

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