Relationship Minute: Missing subtle but important messages from your partner can damage your relationship.

Is it possible you miss subtle but important messages from your partner?  You might be overlooking indicators of distress such as unhappiness in the other.

Yes, it’s important for us all to take responsibility for how we feel and communicate these feelings to each other.  But sometimes there are obstacles to this, whether it be fear to express these feelings or a belief that the other doesn’t care.  If your partner is dissatisfied and you want to know about it and perhaps, just haven’t been paying as much attention as would benefit the relationship, it’s time to tune in.

Check in with your partner to see how they are and whether they are holding onto any feelings that are better processed together rather than internally (where resentment can easily build.)  The other problem with allowing your partner to stew or be inwardly unhappy is that these feelings may have come about by a faulty assumption.  If they are struggling to “come out,” meet them where they are.  If you love each other, it’s important you both learn the skill of emotional attunement.

In my couples therapy practice, I help people improve their relationships by being better attuned to each others emotional state and work towards picking up cues that might be missed.  I also help couples learn how to share their feelings rather than internalize them.

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